The Van (and half a dozen tangents…Vangents?…I digress...)

So I bought a 2009 Ford Econoline E350 Shuttle Van/Bus. It’s small enough to go most places but big enough to allow me to haul my bikes, build a bed loft or two, and add some storage to bring some of the comforts of home along on my adventures. I have always wanted some kind of adventure bus and I have recently found myself with some time on my hands. A LOT of some strange new kind of time on my hands.

May 15, 2020, I entered into the grey area I have been calling semi-retirement. After 25+ years of working for corporations, with regular steps up the ladder of responsibility, I had hit a place where I simply ceased to function in any helpful capacity to my role, my business unit, and my career. In the previous 3 1/2 years my depression had hit a new low, I had gone through a painful divorce, I watched a couple of my kids struggle with some psychological issues I’m certain they inherited from me genetically (and I fear, environmentally), I had a baby at 45 with a woman with whom I was no longer in a relationship, and I watched my professional life crumble as my new corporate overlords determined I was part of the old guard that needed to be replaced. The career that I had carefully tended like a delicate bonsai was uprooted, lit on fire, and tossed to the wind. While I should have been grateful to have kept my job, my new responsibilities were deeply unsatisfying and felt like a punishment. A couple of months after these drastic changes at work, I had what can only be described as a nervous breakdown (fun fact: no such diagnosis exists in the DSM. No doctor or shrink will ever call it that. Sounds dramatic though, right?) I filed for and was granted paid disability leave to get help.

My company at the time was actually very progressive in its benefit packages, including disability pay and parental leave. I was able to take 16 weeks off work, with pay, for my psychological issues and an additional 6 weeks of paid parental leave (the baby was born in the middle of the 16 week stretch).

I tell you all of that to tell you this: When you take extended time away from a job that is poisoning you, suffocating you, diminishing you, the thought of working in that kind of job again is repugnant. I knew I had to get out of that place.

When my leave time was up, I did go back to work very briefly. I called in sick so much that I was kind of afraid they’d fire me before I could formulate a good exit strategy. Ultimately, I was granted a reprieve when Covid-19 struck the world and our site went on a sort of lock-down. I was spared having to go in to work because I am considered high risk (congenital birth defect to be discussed in another tangent…probably titled ”Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He’s My Brother, And I Am Too”). All of this time off and the dread of having to return to a job I despised and was demonstrably killing me provided me a unique circumstance. I was afforded time and means to plan my escape. I HAD to do something else.

An aphorism that once resonated with my oldest son when he was at a crossroads in his life now resonated with me: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

I had heard fanciful tales of people retiring early due to some fantastic stock maneuvering, some gift from their rich Aunt Tilly, etc. I had even heard of a couple of college grads who took their diplomas and immediately “retired”, traveling the world, working odd jobs whenever they needed some scratch, and experiencing “retirement” while still young and healthy, knowing they would likely have to work past 70 to make up for it. These stories had me fully in my head for months, pondering what retirement actually is.

My mother died before she could retire and my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers before he could actually enjoy his retirement (discussed in a future tangent we’ll tentatively call, “Tyler? That’s Travis.”). Retirement isn’t guaranteed to any of us. And retirement doesn’t have to be this extravagant thing with enough money to last you to the finish line.

Maybe I needed to try some form of early retirement while I am still young enough to actually enjoy it. Permanent disability was out of the question; I had received some official diagnosis during my disability period and a couple of my conditions do not respond to medication (see future tangent “These Are Not the Schizoids You Are Looking For”, probably). The folks that determine eligibility for disability seem to think if you aren’t being medicated, then you’re fine. So, barring the disability route (actually not even my cup of tea, but most fitting my situation), I would have to make my way into this new jobless reality with some means of supporting myself and my kids. My 401k would not last more than a few years.

Around the time of the end of my disability and the beginning of my parental leave, I was presented with an opportunity to acquire most of a business from a former arborist mentor of mine. I have loved chainsaw/tree work since I bought my first Stihl FarmBoss MS290 14-odd years ago (to be discussed in a future tangent “When The Accident Prone Surrounds Himself With Chainsaws: A Love Story”). Here was basically a turn-key operation for a price-tag that I had sitting in my savings account. After some talk with my mentor, the earning potential and schedule flexibility evidenced itself to me as a viable escape from Corporate America. I created another LLC to capture this new venture and went to work laying the foundation of a new business that could run or sit idle depending on my wants or needs. A new business, I might add, that involved working outdoors, doing hard, potentially dangerous work that I really enjoy. Diametrically opposite in all aspects from my previous job.

I also was counting on the fact that my 401k would be available to me if I were to leave my job. This was a suggestion that made my accountant and financial advisor visibly bristle. I would pay full tax on any distributions from my account (which I would at retirement age anyway, so pffft) plus a 10% penalty. Ask any financial advisor and they pretty much all recommend selling off one of your kids before touching your 401K. My kids are cute but not likely to bring in the money I’d need.

I was fortunate enough to have had a very generous company match rate during my employment so, from my perspective, the 10% penalty would come out of that and the money left would still be greater than my contributions and the associated gains. Reckless? A smidge, maybe, but it’s just money. I’ve actually come to despise the concept of money. The stupid shit we put ourselves through for money, the figurative rings we have to kiss for it, it’s a paragon I’m still trying to shed. I just needed to make sure I had 1) enough to last long enough to last a year, 2) a means to make more money in a manner that didn’t render me unable to work again, and 3) a solid enough resume to be able to re-enter the work force at some point if #1 or# 2 weren’t sufficient. My 401K satisfied #1, my new small business satisfied #2, and a quarter century of personal and professional growth should more than satisfy #3. I was going to jump into this with what I had available, not what I wish I had. Things were going to get tight; this is not going to be some luxury retirement. It was time in my life to re-prioritize some things…

On April 1st I turned in my resignation at my “job” job, effective May 15th. I gave way more than the customary 2 weeks as a courtesy because regardless of how I felt they treated me, I am who I am and I will leave like Tyler and that’s what Tyler would do.

On May 15th, I gained access to my 401k and I had some money pulled out and stashed away to pay for a few things that I knew were givens: child support, day care, health insurance for my eligible kids (the baby was born with some heart problems to be discussed in a future tangent “That Heartbeat Sounds Like Danny Carey on Jambi”). I also pulled money out for future business expenses/equipment. And then, (1400+ words later into this post), I set aside some money for some kind of van or bus to be converted into an adventuring RV.

Fast forward a couple of months into this “experiment,” I was running the tree service business intermittently and starting to try to enjoy my new-found "peace". I had kind of given up looking for a van or bus anymore because anything in my price range is either a diesel (awesome but I don’t want because they’re too expensive to work on and I can’t do any of the work myself) or too big. So on this random day I randomly do a search and this random ’09 van/shuttle bus pops up…

Meh. They’re all diesels or just trashed so I don’t want to get my hopes up…

It has a V10 gas engine…now you have my attention. My main work truck is an 08 with a V10. Same Chassis, same engine and it’s damn solid…

Daily driver… another good sign…

Pictures look good (but I’ve been on enough dating sites to know not to get fooled by pictures…they’re rarely that good in person (can you put a snapchat filter on an E350?))…

It's in my budgeted price range; even if I pay asking price, I’m good…

“Screw it, I’m gonna schedule a test drive.”

One hour later, my son-in-law and I are hopping in to take it for a spin.

30 minutes after that, I drove away with a huge project. And I got it for $500 under asking price. (Borat Voice: "Much success!)

So here’s the thing; this van/shuttle bus drives well and is mechanically sound enough to camp with as is. It’s seen some stuff, I’m not gonna lie, but overall it’s super functional. There are a few things I’ll be fixing as soon as I’m able; some small leaks in the roof will take priority, the batteries are old and will likely need replaced, and the tires as sketchy AF (as the kids say). I’ll be working on it here and there but I plan to be using it as a camping/adventuring van pretty soon. My plan is to document the conversion of this van to a camper as I go, sharing what I’ve learned online as well as what I’ve learned just from doing.

I also plan to knock out some posts to tidy up my little tangential thoughts I’ve sprinkled throughout this one. I’m not going to sugar-coat it, I suck at writing and I don’t particularly enjoy it. I’ve got stories for days; I’m a prodigious raconteur and I love words. I’m just terrible at the chore of writing. Hence the looooong absence from my own blog site. (Double-hence the crappy sentence structures you’ve endured just reading this.) But whatever, I’ve got some things to say and I’m gonna say them now. I suppose I could make videos but I have a face meant for blogging and I really don’t want my face or voice in a video for this stuff. This is the medium I have, kids. And who knows, I may get better as I write more regularly. This blog is now like my recently-acquired van. Old, maybe a bit rough and rickety, but it’ll get me where I want to go. And I’m going to work on it until it is what I want it to be. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a disjointed ride.

Thanks for coming along.